A Mother’s Day special (yes, I know it was 2 days ago): 3 blog posts devoted to mother’s, and the sad story of a mother’s loss of her child (no, not everything is uplifting).
This is TL;DR (Too Long, Didn’t Read) Tuesdays. I summarize and discuss two articles — one from a blogger, and from one a “traditional news” source. I also provide links to two other blog posts you should read on your own, with a goal to feature bloggers that have popped up on here before and/or that I read on my own.
This concept is inspired by my father, who sends everyone in the family articles links by email, by my older brother, who sends articles so long I never read them, and my wife, who became tired of me sending her articles, and has been telling me “TL;DR” for years.
I write these 1-4x/month. Click here to read all of them over time.
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2 Things For You To Read: In honor of Mother’s day:
#1: What My Mom Taught Me About Personal Finance from Every Single Dollar
#2: Ode to my Mother from Amanda Abella
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2 Things I Read For You
#1
Source: Chief Mom Officer
Title: Chief Mom Officer Momifesto
Summary: The rules of being the Chief Mom Officer of a family — respect yourself and others.
Conclusion: Normally I provide a bigger summary and in this section provide a discussion, however I enjoyed this enough I decided you should just click through and read it without my interpretation.
Read This Also: Am I Middle Class? Are You? What Is Middle Class, Anyway?
#2
Source: New York TImes
Title: His College Saw Despair. His Parents Didn’t, Until It Was Too Late
Summary: A young man at a university commits suicide. The university had multiple warning signs about his deteriorating mental health. Teachers recognized his distress and some internal steps were taken to . This information was not shared directly with his parents, partially because of a federal law (FERPA) that reportedly limits their ability to share information with family. The parents, however, aware that he wasn’t doing great, were still blindsided by his suicide and the revelation of how much was know about his “crash and burn” by members of the university.
Conclusion: Colleges have a wealth of information about the “children” attending them — quotation marks because nearly all are 18 years or older, and thus legally adults. Eighteen is the age of majority for many (but not all things), however both biologically and culturally, most 18-year olds are not independent or mature. College is part of the maturation process for many, but there are limits. Just as with toddlers, you let them stumble and fall on the sidewalk so they can learn to get up on their own; you don’t let them fall head-first into the deep end of the pool and tell them to swim.
Coming from the physician’s perspective, health/safety always come first. We routinely provide care to adolescents for “sensitive” issues that they have not disclosed to their parents. The law actually protect our ability to provide this care to patients below 18 because it is in the best interest of the patient, and disclosure to parents could harm the child. When it comes to literal life/death issues, the same rule does not apply. I will not discharge a 17 OR an 18 year-old on their own recognizance if I think they are at high-risk of suicide, and I would notify a family member. Both the ethics and the law support this, so it somewhat boggles my mind that a university, entrusted to the well-being of so many, is under a different obligation.
Perhaps they are not –from the article: “Colleges can release any student record to parents if the student signs a consent, if the college knows that a parent claims the child as a dependent on tax forms, or in a health or safety emergency. Even so, federal law allows colleges to use their discretion. They are allowed, but not required, to release the records or let a family member know if a student is suicidal.”
Severe depression and suicidality certainly count as a health emergency in my book. I recognize it is not that cut and dry, and it is teachers/admnistrators, not medical/mental health professionals, making initial determinations. However every university needs a process in place, with experts in these areas, who can help make quick decisions, and not let this become a drawn out process where people are caught off-guard when bad things happen.
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