This is a new guest post from EJ at DadsDollarsDebts. Tomorrow he’ll be hosting a new post from me on his site.
When Rogue Dad and I decided to post on each other’s site I was excited but left with deciding what to publish. He has quite the deep thoughts on medicine, family, and life. I on the other hand muse on finance, moderatism (or minimal minimalism), and family…I also muse on medicine sometimes. Since we both love family and medicine, I thought I would combine these topics today for your enjoyment. Hopefully be a pleasurable experience for all of you. [Ed: not sure all my thoughts can be considered “deep” — one of my first blog posts was about changing dirty diapers at a wedding.]
So onto today’s post…
What I will teach my son about medicine
I am a doctor. A cardiologist in fact. There are things I love about my jobs. It goes beyond the 10 reasons being a doctor is awesome. Despite something being awesome, there are also things about my job that drive me insane.
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The constant button clicking, direct to patient advertising that afflicts us all, important but painful patient satisfaction surveys (a 5 point scale does not convey a true difference in care), and late night calls to mention a few. So while the good is good, the bad can also be bad.
As my son grows up, I find myself trying to model a good adult for him. This includes speaking kindly to and about others, eating healthy, laughing often, working out, charitable giving, and having a positive attitude about work. These things have to be lived by me so that he understands their importance. The last one, having a positive attitude about work, is often the hardest.
I am a rational, but emotion individual. It is one of my assets and faults. I will truly laugh and also truly get upset. Luckily my rational mind can often control my monkey mind (with wanderings to and fro). However, when it comes to an evening call, as I am just getting home or an endless array of charting, I can be obviously and very physically frustrated.
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Often it only lasts for a second, but that second is all it takes to make an impression in my little 2.5 year olds mind. His experience watching me can be a reason he chooses to go into medicine, but I do not want to be the reason he chooses not to go into medicine. So daily I try to teach him what is awesome about medicine. This is how I do it.
Every single day when I leave for work I tell him I am going so I can help other people.
I let him know I would love to stay and play with him, but that I need to help other people feel better. I tell him this every single day and every single time I have to leave him (especially when getting called back to work). It seems to work pretty well and he seems to understand that my job is to help others.
I try and block any sort of visceral reaction to my pager or frustration for getting called into the hospital.
This is harder to do, but likely even more important. After almost 20 years of carrying a pager, it is hard not to jump to that chirping noise. Still I take a breath and try to control my emotions. This is good for my son, myself, and the person on the other end of the phone.
I let him know that going to work is what allows us to live a comfortable life and buy the toys he plays with and the food on our table.
By giving him the reference that my job serves multiple purposes, I hope that it allows him to understand the importance of work.
I have him practice being a doctor.
Before the Tubb’s Fire we had a doctor’s kit (something worth replacing I suppose) and we would practice taking care of each other and his stuffed animals. By him participating in imaginary play, he can understand what I do more clearly. At least clearly for a 2.5 year old.
We come from a line of doctor’s so I also tell him that his uncle, grandfather, and cousin’s are doctors.
That they help people too. I suppose knowing many of his family members are doctors may make him respect the field more.
Simple? Yes. Effective? Maybe.
That is what I do and I am interested in hearing what others do for their children. There are many of us out there who would not recommend medicine as a career choice, but at the end of the day I want my children to decide their paths for themselves. By not being a negative influence, I hope I can give my son the freedom to choose.
Please let me know your thoughts.
[Ed: Thanks to EJ for partnering with us for the month and sharing his thoughts here. We will hopefully have our first in-person meeting in just a few days, as we both head to Utah to attend the same medical education conference.]
