Ramadan Progress Report
What is Ramadan?
A couple weeks ago at the beginning of Ramadan, we didn’t explore or discuss the key element of observing the month: fasting.
Muslims who are observing Ramadan fast from sunrise to sunset. No food, no water, no gum — nada. Every day for (roughly) 30 days. We’re also supposed to use this time to focus more on things like abstaining from foul language as well as selfishness in general. The avoidance of food/water is the noticeable part, but the inner, more spiritual aspect, is as (or more) important.
Islam uses a lunar calendar, which is ~11 days shorter than our regular Gregorian calendar, the month moves throughout the seasons. When I was in high-school, Ramadan was in the January. It’s gone through winter and fall and now into summer.
Where I live, the fasts start around 345 AM. and end around 820 PM (slight variation each day). For people closer to the equator, the fasts are a little shorter.
That Sounds Rough
Ramadan requires some physical and mental preparation. If you’re addicted to caffeine, tapering off a week before is a must, otherwise you suffer severe caffeine withdrawal headaches for several days. If your schedule has flexibility, you may try to move work or personal obligations around to be free for your evening meals (Iftar), or avoid some particularly demanding tasks/activities that are hard to complete when you’re a little run-down. It was pretty easy to do that in college — a lot harder as a married adult with kids who each have their own schedules.
Some Muslim-majority countries will almost flip their schedules during Ramadan, with some businesses being closed during the day, people resting more during the day, and more activity occurring at night. Living in the good ol’ U S of A that isn’t really an option
Ideally one wakes up at sehri (the time for morning meal before sunset), whether on your own or with family that is fasting. Some families manage to pull of a large meal or a feast at 330 AM. I can barely make myself eat when I’m awake that early. I dislike breakfast in general, and having a giant meal early in the morning along with a 2-3 cups of water makes me feel ill. Sometimes I only have water and toast. Sometimes I just drink a ton of extra fluids before bedtime and extra snacks and don’t wake up for Sehri. Sometimes just having uninterrupted sleep makes me feel better than eating/drinking at Sehri.
Sign up to receive email notifications of posts. Follow me on X, Facebook, or Instagram for entertainment and updates of new posts. Feel free to email me with comments, questions, or to ask about site sponsorship or public speaking.
Fasting for 16 hours is about as difficult as you can imagine, even when you’ve been doing this for 25 years. The days I don’t drink enough I am sure my creatinine is bumped fairly high. Sometimes I have headaches, or rather, pain in my head whenever I change position to fast.
Fasting during winter time, it may be 645am-530pm, is certainly much easier, though not always easy. Many non-Muslims and non-fasting people skip lunch, but no one intentionally skips fluids during the day, let alone for long stretches for 30 days. However in high-school I could go through a full day of classes and a two-hour swim practice while fasting. I was also a teenager, was waking up for Sehri every morning with my parents, and I was not having my sleep interrupted nearly every night (the way I am now by our kids).
Some of my friends and I have taken to late-night IHOP meals when our schedule allows. We go at midnight instead of 3am so we can have uninterrupted sleep. Eating a stack of chocolate chip pancakes at midnight along with eggs and everything else feels just like college.
Ramadan Etiquette
CNN posted this great, slightly humorous, etiquette guide that covers many salient points for me. In short — if you’re interacting with an adult Muslim who is fasting, don’t feel bad for us, it’s okay to eat in front of us, and you don’t need to apologize for accidentally asking us to go to lunch
On occasion we may actually go sit with you while you get coffee or food for social purposes. Depending on time of day or # of fasts observed, we may be a little tired, or a little cranky. Bear with us.
What about the Rogue Family?
Rogue Mom isn’t Muslim. Early in our marriage she routinely either fasted with me, or had Sehri and Iftar with me. Having multiple kids has made that difficult for her (pregnancy, breastfeeding, etc.) so Sehri and fasting together has mostly fallen by the wayside, though we still do Iftar whenever possible. Unfortunately our kids bedtimes are near Iftar time, making a true family Iftar difficult most nights. Rogue One can handle that time easily, but not the the exuberant 3-year old or the infant. Instead she’s often helping the kids get ready for bed so I can break my fast, a nice thing on its own.
Speaking of kids — our oldest, 8-year old Rogue One, is eager to fast, but he can’t handle a 16-hour fast while doing outdoor summer camps (pretty sure I can’t either), so we’re very slowly easing him in over time. He’s tried a couple times last year with abbreviated hours/modified rules, and we will let him do more as he becomes older/bigger (and fortunately the fasts will become shorter as Ramadan moves towards the spring).
Celebration!
At the end of the month is Eid-Al-Fitr — the first day of the month following Ramadan. Generally a day for family, eating, friends, eating, naps, eating, and presents. Celebrate with us during Ramadan by having Iftar with us sometimes, but celebrate the end by having lunch with us again.
I’m sure you have read about some of the health benefits if intermittent fasting as well. The ancients were on to something!
I hadn’t considered the different day lengths at different latitudes. Muslims who live at very northern or southern latitudes must have it especially rough when Ramadan falls in the summer. Someplace like Alaska might have only a few hours between sunset and sunrise!
Unfortunately I think most Muslims lose the health benefits by overeating at sunset. For instance — I’ll be at IHOP tonight at midnight eating my chocolate chip pancakes. However what I do always learn from Ramadan isn’t I don’t need nearly as much food during the day as I think I do. I always fall back into bad habits, but I always relearn that I only need a few hundred calories throughout the day to be okay.
I read your post with interest. Living in a small, rural Southern area of the country, I have not had Muslim friends and I feel as if I now have a virtual Muslim friend. Thank you for sharing and for your openness – very interesting. I’m curious – since Mrs. Rogue is Christian, do you share special holidays with her, also? And, at what age are children expected to do the full fast?
Hey Joanna, sorry been working nights and was not checking the blog. Thanks for the comment — it makes me feel like the writing has some purpose, as I’m hoping to connect with people in this way . Yes — we celebrate holidays on both side. We celebrate Christmas and Easter. We have a visit from Santa and the Easter Bunny. Only Rogue One is old enough to understand “religion” in any sense, and while he self-identifies as Muslim, he views Christmas and Easter has his holidays as well. We celebrate them all because his mom and her side of the family is Christian, and that our agreement from day one was that we would make that part of their exposure.
So we discuss the importance of all the holidays with him (and to some degree Rogue Two).
I was taught growing up that age of being “expected” to fast is basically as a pre-teen/early teenager. However there’s a lot of variation on what people consider the official recommendation and what their own expectations are for their kids. Many families want/expect their kids to try to fast full days at 8-9. I think that’s very difficult to do in the summer and in a non-Muslim country. In some countries people will almost flip their schedules to a degree to make it easier in the summer, however that isn’t possible here. However no matter where you live or time of year, it’s very hard for young kids to do it. Many people sort of ease kids into it with partial day fasts or still having them drink but not eat (the lack of fluid gets you). People often have their kids build up how many days out of the month they fast over time so that when their teenagers they have the ability to do the entire month.